It’s just a part of me, I guess. I’ve always had that piece of me, since I was little, and all the things I’ve gome through has just kinda made it grow, and now that piece has become all of me. Growing up everyone around me basically told me nonstop how bad I was, and how much of a failure I am, and hearing your own dad say he’s embarrassed of you meeting his friends kind of takes a toll. If nobody else can love me why should I? But nothing I do gets me better. I’ve done therapy, multiple times, and have tried so many different pills but nothing helps and each time that I’m met with that failure it makes me lose more of that hope that maybe one day I’ll be normal. I’m just out of hope. Also I just really don’t see anything in myself that’s not worth hating. I don’t have any admirable traits, or the looks to back up my lack of admirable traits. There’s just nothing in me or about me that’s worth loving.

Sorry that was really long.